Chapter 161 - If Only
writer:Xincerely      update:2022-08-22 15:03
  The two enjoyed a delicious meal together, where Lina barely drank the wine, and Kaden practically emptied the bottle. Despite her lack of alcohol consumption, her face was as red as a lobster. Her body did not digest the sweet liquor well.

  "I'll keep in mind to give you fruit juice next time," Kaden had teased her, which earned him a fierce glare from her direction.

  Kaden was amused when she rose to her feet to use the bathroom, but tripped over her footing. He had to escort her there, relishing in how much she relied on his arm to properly walk on her heels.

  After the main course, Lina enjoyed a sweet dessert of decadent berries imported fresh from a small island to the east of Ritan and freshly whipped cream. Kaden, on the other hand, was tortured during the entire dessert. He could not look away from the cream on her lips, the small dart of her tongue, and the sweetness of her mouth.

  "What?" Lina had naively asked him upon seeing his hand tightly grip the wine glass stem.

  "Enjoy your dessert as much as you can," Kaden had told her. "I'll be enjoying you as dessert later."

  At that, Lina had stopped teasing him. She properly ate her dessert and tried to hold back a blush. Afterward, the cheque was paid. She tried to volunteer, but found out he had a tab here. There was no way she could win against him in this fight.

  Eventually, they made their way to the parking lot.

  "How much did you have to drink to be this red?" Kaden teased her on the elevator down to the parking garage.

  Lina simply glared at him. "I'm not red," she tried to argue.

  Lina was gripping his elbows tightly to stabilize herself. She wished she had broken in these heels much earlier. Now, they were hurting her feet. But she didn't want to tell him that and ruin the night. So, she gritted her teeth and bore the pain.

  "Hm…" Kaden cupped her cheek, feeling the warmth on his fingertips. "Your face is incredibly hot."

  "I'm always hot," Lina bickered.

  "Hotter than usual," Kaden corrected her.

  "Thanks," Lina responded.

  Kaden softly laughed.

  Lina was bewitched. She could only look up at him, admiring the beauty of the sound. She loved it when he laughed and smiled. It was rare, but she cherished all of them. His happiness warmed her heart and eased her nerves.

  "Where are we going now?" Lina asked him.

  Lina's grip tightened on his elbow, leaning her body onto his for support. Kaden didn't seem to mind. He walked her to the car that she had bought for him. Underneath the bright parking lights, the black car shone like a sleek horse in the night. She was glad the elegant car suited his dark personality.

  "To a shrine dedicated to you," Kaden said like it was no big deal.

  Lina held back her surprise. She'd heard of the place. When she was learning about the history of Ritan, the temple was mentioned. The historians said the Second King of Ritan never remarried. There were no records of any woman in his life. Any, except for one.

  Teran was wiped from historical sources, but she was its only surviving historian.

  The Fourth Princess of Teran, they'd call her. Teran was reduced to a small section in a history book, but there was an entire chapter dedicated to her.

  "That painting of me…" Lina mumbled. "In the museum… it was titled 'she, who got away.' When did you draw it?"

  Kaden paused. They had just reached the car. He turned to look at her. His expression was rigid. He did not want to remember it.

  "When you were a decaying corpse in my bed."

  Lina was stabbed through the chest by his words. She could not say anything.

  "It was thousands of lives for one," Lina told him. "I did what I had to do."

  Kaden sharply turned to her. "Your sacrifice kicked off two wars, dove of mine."

  Lina pulled her hand away from him. Immediately, he came closer. His body was facing hers, towering over her small one. She had to crane her neck to look up at him. He was intimidating.

  Kaden tucked his hands into his pockets and narrowed his eyes.

  "Your sacrifice did more harm than help," Kaden gritted out. "Had you stayed put—"

  "Those wars, did you start them because of me?" Lina whispered.

  "I—"

  "Those wars, did I ask you to start them? I sacrificed myself in hope there would be no fighting. No deaths. No more despair. And what do you do? You went off and slaughtered my family!" Lina cried out, pushing at his chest.

  Lina could feel her eyes burn with angry tears. How dare this man try to shame her. How dare he speak of her actions when he had done much worse? This brute!

  Kaden did not respond. He let her hit and slap at his chest. He allowed her to take her anger out on him, for he knew he was in the wrong. When he waged two wars out of heartbreak, he branded it as venging her death. In reality, he was venting his anger.

  "How could you?" Lina cried out, clutching his black button-up. "How could you?" she repeated in a hurtful voice.

  Kaden caught her wrists. He lowered his voice, so she'd understand where he was coming from.

  "I spared your mother and older sister," Kaden murmured. "They stayed in my palace of Ritan for as long as they lived. Everything they wanted, they received. Your citizens of Teran were not turned into war slaves, instead, they were welcomed to stay in their horrible homes or migrate to the flourishing Ritan."

  That did not make it better.

  "It was with my conquest of Teran that your people lived in much better conditions than they previously had. Did you know your father never repaired the war-torn towns at the edge of Teran? Did you know of the villages he promised to save, but got destroyed in the end?" Kaden demanded of her.

  Lina opened to respond, but he continued.

  "Because I conquered your kingdom, your people lived in peace with no devastation, calamity, or famine! They lived in safety with repaired houses and camps to train your people into splendid fighters, should they need to defend themselves!" Kaden seethed.

  Lina knew that. She read it in the history books. Kingdoms conquered by the "tyrant" always thrived better than when they weren't. It was why historians praised him so much.

  Despite being a tyrant who murdered his own family, Kaden had enough honor to merge the lands into what was known as modern-day Ritan. He treated the citizens like humans, instead of slaves or livestock meant to be sold off.

  "We could've had everything," he said. "We could've had the world."

  "If only either of us listened," she responded.

  Kaden's grip tightened on her wrists. His jaws tightened.

  If only.

  Maybe then, their lives would have been much more different. Maybe then, Kaden wouldn't be an immortal watching his loved ones die. And maybe then, Lina would have become an Empress. But it was far too late.

  What happened had happened, and now, they were paying for the prices of their actions. Lina was always born into a great family, but fated to suffer great tragedies. Kaden suffered from his immortality, but was fated to never be happy.

  With destinies as such, how could the star-crossed lovers ever find their way to happiness?