Chapter 812 - I Cant Continue to Pretend Anymore (2)
writer:anjeeriku      update:2022-08-22 14:14
  "Okay," Li Meili answered. She was a little nervous but knowing that Leyan was with them, it made her feel a little better. She felt like they were already a family, so it wouldn't matter if Leyan was here or not.

  "Moyu has already given me the divorce papers and told me the truth about your sickness," she informed him. "But I want to know why. Why didn't you tell me? Don't you consider me as your wife?"

  Zhang Jiren looked away, trying to find the right words to answer her. He hadn't expected that his twin sister would reveal it to Li Meili so soon. He gave the divorce papers just in case his next surgery failed or if things turned worse while he was getting his treatments.

  Was Tang Moyu worried about his next surgery? Since the tumor in his head was at a delicate part of the brain, the success rate of his full recovery was quite low. While treatments improve over time because of technology, no one could predict what would happen in the future.

  "I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the best for the two of us. I apologize if you think I overstepped my boundaries by making this drastic decision. Since we are getting a divorce in a few weeks, I thought you wouldn't mind if I sign the papers early."

  "Whether we are married or not, do you think my concern for you will change?" she asked, trying to suppress the rage in her heart upon hearing his explanation. "Do you really think I could just abandon you like that just because you already served your purpose? Do you think so lowly of me, Jiren?"

  Zhang Jiren shook his head. He would never look down on her, that wasn't his intention why he kept the truth from her. If anything, he was only worried that she would cry because of him.

  He reached out to her and gently wiped her tears dry with tissue he took from the table next to him. Li Meili didn't even realize that she was crying again.

  "What should I do, Jiren? I can't be without you anymore," she asked bitterly. Since she was selfish, she would dare to keep him by her side.

  Li Meili was afraid to wake up not seeing him anymore. She was afraid that just like Tang Beixuan, there would be a day that she would also forget his gentle voice that seemingly knew how to calm her nerves every time. She was reluctant to let him go and wasn't willing to allow him to leave.

  At this rate, if she signed the paper, would that also mean she wouldn't be able to see him again? Would Zhang Jiren call her selfish and overbearing if she demanded him to stay with her as long as they could be together?

  Tang Moyu had said that she could clearly see other affairs, but why didn't she have the same confidence when it came to her own?? The reason might be because, in spite of her strong facade, Li Meili was a coward when it came to love.

  "You don't want to divorce because you still need me?" he asked with an aching heart.

  Zhang Jiren knew that he was making a mistake here by talking with her. He had already decided to spare her of the difficulties his disease would bring by divorcing her. But here he was, slowly being convinced otherwise. He was tempted, but could he do it? He was already a lost cause when it came to his wife. Seeing her shed tears, even when they were younger, made him feel distress. Those tears were like a thorn for him. He would rather see her smiling than crying.

  Li Meili stared at him for a long time while the child in her arms yawned. Little Leyan laid her head against her mother's c.h.e.s.t, unaware that her parents', as well as her future, were being discussed in front of her.

  "You protected me, you helped me— you loved me unconditionally… Tell me, Jiren, am I not allowed to do the same for you? Can't I be a better wife for you?"

  "If you are saying this out of gratitude, you don't need to, Meili. I've done all of it because I wanted to." He gave her a weak smile. "Meeting you and Leyan is one of the best things I have in life. I regret none of it."

  When she didn't say anything, Zhang Jiren continued.

  "Meili, I couldn't continue like this anymore. I cannot pretend anymore that I feel nothing to you and could only be your fake husband." His tone was calm, but his heart wasn't. Zhang Jiren prepared himself for her rejection. There was no way she was asking him not to divorce her out of love.

  Li Meili was stunned by his confession. His words only confirmed what Tang Moyu said about him having feelings for her. How did she fail to notice it when he was just next to her all this time?

  "Meili, perhaps you see me as a good friend, I thank you for that, but I'm sorry… I never saw you as a friend. You aren't just a friend. I cannot continue to deceive myself any longer."

  "Then why didn't you tell me earlier?" She had been a fool to believe that she and Zhang Jiren could only be friends— that the concern they had for each other was out of respect for each other. She had been a damn fool, hurting him like this.

  "Because I know how much you loved Beixuan. I wouldn't dare replace him in your heart…" His words trailed off as he glanced at Zhang Leyan's sleeping face. "In her life as her father too."

  Li Meili tried to cease her crying in vain. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she took his hand, holding it tightly.

  "Don't say that. Do you honestly think I wanted to stay married to you and are only interested in you because we live together? "