Chapter 66 – Advanced Americans
writer:废铁行者      update:2022-08-17 16:05
  The living room was fully European style, none of the furniture were lacking arabesque solid wood. The sofa cushion was large and soft, and it was very comfortable to lean on.

  Ai Mi and I were both sitting on a sofa, with an ivory colored wooden coffee table between us. The distance between the us was like a tutor and his student.

  It’s a rare sight seeing Ai Mi wearing casual clothes, a pair of white suspenders with sky-blue shorts, sitting cross-legged barefoot on the sofa cushion, posed in a very comfortable and relaxed manner.

  The air conditioner was too hot that it was even hotter than Director Cao and Xiao Qin’s homes. I had to unbutton the top of the Qingzi Academy’s uniform and revealed a bit of my chest.

  I didn’t dare do this in Xiao Qin’s home. No matter how hot it was, I would hold it in. It seems like I am more relaxed in front of Ai Mi.

  Obama, the sled dog, was sprawled on top of the rug in the living room, and from time to time he would check if Ai Mi or I had something to eat in our hands.

  Ai Mi only had a cup of freshly squeezed tomato juice in her hand, and I also had a cup. It was brought by a person dressed like a chef. There was a plate of fruit on the coffee table. The skin was dark red, the flesh was yellow, it was tender and as sweet as honey.

  But Ai Mi didn’t like it, she said that she was already tired of eating figs, and her opinion wouldn’t change regardless of how fresh it was. The snacks that her mother set for her were basically only fruits, even chocolates were only available for birthdays and Christmas.

  “This fruit is delicious, I think it’s healthier than chocolate.”


  I said inadvertently.

  Ai Mi immediately sat up straight and stared at me as if I had said something rebellious.

  “Manservant, how can you say that figs are better than chocolate! Didn’t I say not to betray me!”


  “Who’s your manservant, I was just pitying you. I can also get free food and drinks here, so I came to keep you company!”


  “You must have been bought over by my mother’s people! How much money did they give you!”


  Unwilling to overlook my careless statement, her expression was both hateful and nervous as if her last toy had been snatched away.

  I felt that I couldn’t explain it to her properly, so I just didn’t bother explaining it. I stood up and walked up to her, reached out, and patted her head.

  It was no different from from how I used to pet kittens and puppies. Obama saw that I was petting his owner, and came over hoping that I would pet him.

  “What are you doing? Who said you can be so intimate with me!”


  Ai Mi was ashamed and anxious to resist.

  It’s strange how she wasn’t shy in front of me wearing only her underwear, but now she is blushing when I’m only touching her head.

  Did she feel like I violated her dignity as a high and mighty lady?

  But I don’t treat her as a lady. In my eyes, she was just a dummy.

  For an inexplicable reason, a dummy that I couldn’t leave alone.

  Blonde hair is really easy to mess up. I only touched it a bit and the hair on top of her head all stuck up; the fluffy hair made her look like a cartoon character.

  But Ai Mi didn’t realize. Under my strokes, her mood seemed to have calmed, and she stopped saying stuff like I betrayed her.

  This was the first time that my “happily petting a dog” technique was effective for humans. I thought about the meaning and smiled while sitting back in my original spot.

  After I removed my hand, Ai Mi displayed a disappointed expression, but said:

  “This manservant is too misbehaved! You’re not allowed to touch my head anymore!”


  I shrugged and gave her an unclear answer. Americans love to shrug. I just learned that recently.

  Ai Mi and I have been looking at it for a while. Once again, she reiterated that I was not allowed to betray her. She also said that although Peng TouSi turned a blind eye towards her cheating, in the end he still was mother’s half dog, they couldn’t be careless.

  “Manservant, you can’t learn from Peng TouSi, you must be my full-time dog!”


  I looked at her contemptuously while using my godly petting techniques on Obama. Obama’s expression of pleasure was 90% like that of Ai Mi’s from earlier.

  You brat who is so similar to a dog. You are not qualified to say that others are dogs!

  Then Ai Mi complained to me again about how boring filming was, it was tiring and troublesome, especially the martial arts instructor who was really bitc*y.

  I advised Ai Mi not to mess up the relationship with Auntie Ren. Ai Mi asked me why I wanted to help Auntie Ren and asked what is her relationship with me.

  In fact, I have nothing to do with Auntie Ren. I just didn’t want two of my acquaintances to have a bad relationship.

  I said that Auntie Ren has won the MMA World Championship and is someone with skill. Ai Mi said that Peng TouSi was even stronger. If you don’t believe it, then let them fight.

  I said that Auntie Ren was an elder. Could you show some respect for your elders? As a result, Ai Mi said that Americans don’t play by those rules. The malpractices of respecting and giving tons of subsidies for seniors only exist in countries that aren’t developed, like China.

  Finally, I told Ai Mi: I still have all the colas and chips that we bought at the supermarket last time. If you’re willing to mend your relationship with Auntie Ren, I’ll secretly bring them to you.

  Ai Mi suddenly lost all of her principles, and promised to stop bothering Auntie Ren, and repeatedly told me to keep my promise.

  What a glutton.

  When I was chatting with Ai Mi in the living room, Ai Mi’s bedroom door was open. I could see that the entire bedroom was repainted at Ai Mi’s request. The walls were turned into a hue of pink. There were dancing dolphins and blue waves painted on top.

  In a nutshell, Ai Mi’s bedroom was completely decorated as a “fantasy princess room”, and was completely out of place when matched against the tone of the VIP building, like a child living among a group of adults, but this was indeed the case.

  The reason why only the bedroom was remodeled, and the living room remained the same, was probably due to a conflict of opinions with Peng TouSi (the representative of her mother).

  Ai Mi’s bed looked like it was very soft, it was a four-poster bed with decorated poles at each corner. Light purple curtains were attached to the ceiling. It could be pulled down to shield from sunlight, and can also be used as a mosquito net in summer.

  It’s a double bed, if Ai Mi slept on top she wouldn’t even take up 1/3 of the area. But currently there is not much empty space left on the bed, almost all of it was occupied by a variety of teddy bears.

  There were two bears that stood out, one was the traditional Winnie the Pooh (dressed like a human wearing a red shirt, but no pants, I don’t know what the designer was thinking). The other was a Viking pirate wearing a horned helmet (It was bigger than Ai Mi, makes me think how she moves it), and the remaining bears were too numerous to count, they were basically all warm colored with big eyes. I’m thinking that Ai Mi doesn’t even need blankets at night, she could just cover herself with these teddy bears.

  Sure enough, I’m still a child, I started snickering in my head, but my face probably expressed what I was thinking.

  Ai Mi was upset when she saw my expression.

  “What’s wrong with liking teddy bears? I have to hold one at night, or I can’t fall asleep! Do you know how much pressure there is working in show business? A few of my mother’s contracted singers also smokes marijuana and takes drugs! Why do you care if I’m just holding a bear!”


  I suddenly felt embarrassed, because I also had a habit of holding things to fall asleep. That’s why there were two identical pillows in my room, one was used as a hug pillow. I am a grown man yet have the same sleeping habits as a little girl like Ai Mi, it’s a bit humiliating.

  “I wasn’t laughing at you. You definitely sleep more sound if you hug something.”


  Those were not comforting words, but my personal experience.

  I don’t know why, but Ai Mi sighed.

  “According to my mother, when I was very young, I had to hold my mother’s arm to fall asleep. But after I was old enough to realize what was going on, my mother wouldn’t let me hug her anymore, so I could only use teddy bears as a substitute. But teddy bears doesn’t emit heat. I would tell Peng TouSi to use infrared light to heat it for 10 minutes before going to bed every night, but it always gets cold in the middle of the night……”


  Speaking of this, Ai Mi suddenly stared at my arm, her intention was quite obvious.

  “Hey, what are you thinking? Do you want to sleep with my arm? I’m not a teddy bear!”


  When I revealed her intentions, Ai Mi snorted:

  “Stop dreaming! You’re just a lowly servant. How can you sleep on the same bed as your owner? You can just sleep with Obama at the foot of the bed!”


  Who wants to sleep with the sled dog!

  I used to sleep with my puppy. After I remembered the scenes from that time, I felt as if it happened yesterday, and I stayed quiet for a while.

  “Hey, manservant, why aren’t you saying anything?”


  “.……”


  “Are you YY me?”


  “YY you?”


  “Yeah, YY about sleeping with me? All guys are like this, absolutely vulgar.” (TN: YY just means to sexually fantasize about someone)

  Ai Mi had an expression as if she had solved all the wonders of the world and had a ridiculous posture as if she was going to attain enlightenment.

  “Who’s YY that kind of things! Stop thinking that all men are stalkers just because you got entangled with one before!”


  Ai Mi held out a hand and said that I didn’t need to justify myself.

  “You don’t need to explain, I forgive you. Serving such a charming master, it would be unrealistic to to not let you fantasize. I’ll give you special permission to YY me, as long as you remain loyal to me.”


  Looking at the smug look in her eyes, maybe the only reason she really believes that I wasn’t bought by her mother is because I was attracted by her charm.

  It’s arrogant and foolish. How did I get mixed up with this kind of person?

  Ai Mi is really troublesome and annoying. She said that Auntie Ren was an annoying b***h, but I don’t think she’s too far off.

  After complaining about filming, Ai Mi began to complain about how life in Qingzi Academy was very boring.

  Ai Mi would have bodyguards accompanying her at all times so the students couldn’t get close even if they wanted to, obviously you’re not going to make any friends.

  There were also a lot of complaints about the arrangement of the courses. For example, the math class in the celestial empire was not made for humans, the language and history classes were all used to brainwash students and how she was also glad that she was born in the democratic and free USA, otherwise she would have been like the celestial empire children and became a sacrifice for dictatorship.

  Finally, Ai Mi asked me, the sacrifice, what my school was like and if there were any interesting things.

  There’s really nothing to talk about 28 Middle, I told her briefly that it’s a more crude version of Qingzi Academy, it was more like a concentration camp.

  Ai Mi asked another question: Do you have a lot of friends?

  I don’t have many friends, although there were the “eighteen arhats” in the basketball team, but after all, they were not in the same class. In my class, the only ones I hanged with was the degenerate Eunuch Cao. Xiao Qin was not a friend either, she was more like an enemy who wants my life.

  Suddenly I thought of the class leader, the class leader is probably my sworn rival? But that day I at least helped her by reminding her to replace her diary.

  It’s because her brother is too outrageous. He doesn’t care about his sister’s feelings, nor does he care about the feelings of Xiao Hua, who was dumped. I really should think of a way to teach him a lesson.

  I said that I didn’t have many friends in school, but there were a couple of people who got on my nerves. As the United States is such an advanced country, how would they deal with it?

  Ai Mi took a sip of tomato juice, revealing a “tastes disgusting” expression.

  “Hmph, those annoying guys. I might as well let Peng TouSi kill them, then let them sink to the bottom of a lake!”